Sunday, 01 March 2015 13:31

The Pun Song

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A riddle or a pun
Can provide a feast of fun.
The worse they are, the best they are,
It's hard to find a rotten one
But once you find that jewel,
The feeling's beautifewel.
These are the kind that we all find
Quite irresistibewel!

"I've got one! Who walks like this?"
"I haven't the faintest idea. You tell me -- Who walks like that?"
"Aha! I do!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
That's awful! That's absurd!
It's as bad as anything I've ever heard!
It's madness, it's insane!
But not half as daft as this one
That I managed to obtain.

"Where was the Magna Carta signed?"
"I don't know. Where was the Magna Carta signed?"
"It was signed at the bottom!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
What drivel! What a blow!
You have bruised my brain by stooping quite so low.
What stupid revelry!
But it's not as bad as this one
That a cuckoo told to me.

"How do you find out the weight of a whale?"
"I don't know. How do you find out the weight of a whale?"
"Take him to the nearest whale-way station!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Pure piffle, what a shock!
Your distorted mind is full of poppycock!
It's nonsense, ev'ry word,
Yet it can't compare to this one
That I must have overheard.

"Which King of England wore the largest shoes?"
"Oh, I'd love to know. Which King of England did wear the largest shoes?"
"The one with the largest feet!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Oh, rubbish! You are sick!
You remind us of a looney lunatic!
You're merely a buffoon!
If you carry on like this
You'll be as mad as us quite soon!

"What did the father ghost say to his son?"
"I don't know. What did the father ghost say to his son?"
"Spook only when you are spooken to!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
If it's sunny or it's rainy,
If you're dumb or if you're brainy,
You can sing the zany
Pun song!

Music John Barry
Lyrics: Don Black
From: "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland"

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