Sunday, 01 March 2015 13:31

The Pun Song

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Share this post

Submit to FacebookSubmit to TwitterSubmit to LinkedIn

A riddle or a pun
Can provide a feast of fun.
The worse they are, the best they are,
It's hard to find a rotten one
But once you find that jewel,
The feeling's beautifewel.
These are the kind that we all find
Quite irresistibewel!

"I've got one! Who walks like this?"
"I haven't the faintest idea. You tell me -- Who walks like that?"
"Aha! I do!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
That's awful! That's absurd!
It's as bad as anything I've ever heard!
It's madness, it's insane!
But not half as daft as this one
That I managed to obtain.

"Where was the Magna Carta signed?"
"I don't know. Where was the Magna Carta signed?"
"It was signed at the bottom!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
What drivel! What a blow!
You have bruised my brain by stooping quite so low.
What stupid revelry!
But it's not as bad as this one
That a cuckoo told to me.

"How do you find out the weight of a whale?"
"I don't know. How do you find out the weight of a whale?"
"Take him to the nearest whale-way station!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Pure piffle, what a shock!
Your distorted mind is full of poppycock!
It's nonsense, ev'ry word,
Yet it can't compare to this one
That I must have overheard.

"Which King of England wore the largest shoes?"
"Oh, I'd love to know. Which King of England did wear the largest shoes?"
"The one with the largest feet!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Oh, rubbish! You are sick!
You remind us of a looney lunatic!
You're merely a buffoon!
If you carry on like this
You'll be as mad as us quite soon!

"What did the father ghost say to his son?"
"I don't know. What did the father ghost say to his son?"
"Spook only when you are spooken to!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
If it's sunny or it's rainy,
If you're dumb or if you're brainy,
You can sing the zany
Pun song!

Music John Barry
Lyrics: Don Black
From: "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland"

Read 83866 times

Our other sites

Geoff Leonard writes CD booklet notes, articles, and occasionally books, in partnership with Pete Walker. You can read more about this here:


John Barry related Events or Concerts

Submit your Event or Concert,
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

24 & 25 February, 2024
The James Bond Experience: Music Behind the Man
Cape Cod Symphony
Barnstable Performing Arts Center
Hyannis, Massachusetts
Website for more information

Q The Music 2024 concert dates

Q The Music are a world-renowned tribute to James Bond music, performing at the smallest intimate private events, to huge production concerts in the West End of London as well as theatres throughout the UK and abroad.

With configurations from a 5-piece band, 13-piece band (standard line-up) and even up to a full orchestra, this is the perfect way to bring 007 music to your event or occasion, and there is simply nobody who does it better.

*Q The music are not affiliated with EON, Danjaq, MGM or the james bond films.

q the music

12 May 2024 New Theatre, Peterborough

25 May 2024 St George’s Hall, Bradford

26 May 2024 Palace Theatre, Newark

27 May 2024 New Victoria Theatre, Woking

2 Jun 2024 Tyne Theatre and Opera House

25 Aug 2024 Buxton Opera House

1 Sep 2024 Queen’s Theatre, Barnstaple

22 Sep 2024 De La Warr Theatre, Bexhill

Geoff (owner) and Ruud (webmaster) have been running the John Barry website since June 18, 2001. This website is not endorsed by the composer's family.

John Barry - The Man With The Midas Touch, the definitive website
dedicated to Britain's foremost composer of film and TV music.